Committing to wearing a headscarf, commonly called a hijab*, is a deeply personal journey. While often empowering, it can also feel isolating, particularly for those living in non-Muslim-majority countries. Recently, an Instagram follower asked if I'd ever felt like taking off my hijab and for advice on navigating such struggles.
I had an easy time when I started wearing hijab with supportive community and family. But having lived in diverse areas like NYC where hijabis are common, I recognize this isn't everyone's experience. If you've ever struggled with standing out, felt unsafe, or simply needed reassurance, these tips can help you stay grounded and proud of your choice.
1. Curate a Hijab-Inspiring Social Media Feed
Social media can amplify insecurity. Protect your mindset by consciously curating your feeds. Unfollow accounts that make you question your choices. Instead:
- Follow diverse hijabi voices: Seek out influencers, professionals (doctors, athletes), and creatives who wear hijab. Some accounts I enjoy are With Love, Leena, Rawdah Mohamed, and Samia Benchaou.
- Join relevant communities: Engage in Facebook groups or subreddits for Muslim women in your area.
- Pro Tip: Create a Pinterest board of hijab styles you love. Visualizing your daily wear as aspirational online reinforces a positive self-image. (Feel free to check out my style board for inspiration!)
2. Find Historical & Cultural Connections
The headscarf isn't exclusive to Islam; diverse cultures worldwide have rich traditions of head covering. For instance:
- Finnish women historically wore huivis.
- Many Orthodox Christian women wear headscarves in church.
- Some Jewish women wear tichels or snoods.
Recognizing these widespread traditions reminds us that modesty is a universal human concept, not a "foreign" or exclusively religious one. This broader perspective counters narratives that misrepresent headscarves as a uniquely Islamic garment.
I recall a comment on one of my TikTok videos about Finnish food, suggesting my headscarf meant I couldn't be Finnish. A non-Muslim Finnish follower quickly corrected them, noting her own grandmother always wore a headscarf—a common practice for Finnish women until relatively recently.
3. Prioritize Safety, Not Fear
In high-risk environments, prioritizing personal safety, particularly in the face of anti-Muslim violence, is understandable. While I've been fortunate not to experience such situations, if your struggle stems from social discomfort:
- Reconnect with your 'why': Journal about your initial spiritual or personal motivations for wearing hijab.
- Practice confident responses: Prepare how you might calmly and confidently address stares or questions.
- Assert boundaries politely: Don't hesitate to address rudeness; it's possible to enforce social boundaries while remaining polite.
4. Build a Strong Support System
- Online: Connect with fellow hijabis, especially those in similar countries, through platforms like Instagram or TikTok. This has been invaluable for my own support network.
- Offline: If local Muslim communities are scarce, explore interfaith or immigrant groups that champion diversity.
5. Dress for Yourself
- Experiment with colors, fabrics, and styles that make you feel beautiful. (Don't forget to check out my hijab color theory guide here!)
- Tip: Try a monochromatic look by matching your hijab to your outfit for an instant confidence boost.
6. Celebrate Hijabi Role Models
Seek inspiration from hijabis excelling in various fields. Take note of their stories to remind yourself of the vast possibilities:
- Academia: Dr. Ingrid Mattson (Islamic studies scholar)
- Sports: Ibtihaj Muhammad (Olympic fencer)
- Politics: Ilhan Omar (U.S. Congresswoman)
- Fashion: Rawdah Mohamed (Model)
7. Reframe "Standing Out" as Strength
Your visibility as a hijabi is a powerful asset. You're actively normalizing hijab for future generations. Consider these empowering perspectives:
- New opportunities: Being recognized as part of the Ummah can open unique doors.
- Community building: As a visibly Muslim individual, your positive actions reflect well on the entire Muslim community, actively contributing to its perception.
8. Decenter Your Appearance
Growing up, my dad always advised my sisters and I to "Focus on what's in your head, not what's on your head." Excessive focus on appearance can detract from mental well-being for anyone, hijabis included.
If you find yourself fixating on your appearance, redirect your energy to something more productive. Engage in activities like reading the Quran, exercising, or pursuing a hobby.
It's also important to remember that others often care less than you think. I began wearing hijab mid-semester during my senior year of college. One day my hair was out, the next I wore a headscarf to every class. I was nervous, but to my surprise, no one cared. It was anticlimactic. This experience taught me that while hijab is significant, it's not the most important aspect of my identity, and other facets deserve my attention.
Final Thought
Your hijab is a unique part of your journey, a reflection of your commitment. Some days it may feel like a challenge, other days, a blessing. Wherever you are on this path, remember you're in community with millions of women worldwide. What helps you stay grounded and confident in your hijab? Share your insights and experiences in the comments below to uplift our community.
*Terminology note: Religiously, hijab is required for Muslim men and Muslim women, and it encompasses our outfits as well as our behavior. It’s how you carry yourself, the words you speak, and the way you treat others. This is why I often refer to the “hijab” as a headscarf, because the concept of hijab is holistic, genderless, and does not refer to a scarf. But for the purpose of clarity, I refer to the headscarf as a hijab in this article.
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