My Hijab Journey
I started wearing a headscarf every day in November 2023, the fall semester of my senior year of college. I'd reverted to Islam several weeks prior and wasn't really thinking about becoming a full-time hijabi, but my husband offered to take me shopping so I could see if I liked wearing it. And I did! In retrospect, this is no surprise--I've always been a scarf girl.
People often ask me, "Did people act different towards you after you started wearing hijab?". Truthfully, the answer is no. My family did not care because they're supportive of whatever I do. No friends, classmates, or professors in my university classes ever treated me differently or even commented on my new style. I think this is because of where I was living in New York, which was very diverse, and people there have a general policy of minding their own business. This is one thing I miss about New York.
I feel blessed that this was a natural transition for me, because I've listened to the experiences of other women who have struggled with becoming a hijabi. Some women feel like there's too much pressure on them from family or community, and that stress becomes overwhelming. Some women fear for their safety due to rising hate crimes against Muslims. Some women feel nervous to make such a big change in the way they present themselves to the world. These experiences are totally valid and understandable, and I acknowledge I'm fortunate that that hasn't been my experience.
If you decide to wear a headscarf every day, I want you to know that you don't have to answer anyone's questions. "Curiousity" is frequently thinly veiled rudeness, and you're not obligated to be interrogated about your style or religious identity. In general, it is always rude to question people about their religious practices. Google is free--if they wanted information, they could take a second to look it up. Questions can be asked for the purpose of othering, intimidation, and causing discomfort. Protect your peace and maintain boundaries with nosy people. This is some of the best advice on the social/emotional side I could give to any woman or girl deciding to wear hijab.
1. Stay in your best colors.
One of the best hacks is to get a color that matches your natural hair, your eyes, your skin, the opposite of your eye color, and the clothing item you wear the most. Jeans are a staple in many women's wardrobes, so a denim blue hijab will pair naturally with many outfits. Getting a hijab in the opposite of your eye color will also make your eyes stand out more. I've attached multiple color charts based on eye color to serve as a visual aid, as well as product links for each color. Carefully consider your undertone when choosing colors. I don't recommend buying black as a neutral unless you have a lot of black in your wardrobe, naturally black hair, deep brown eyes, or have a very dark ring around your iris, in which case black near your face can make your eyes pop.
Through color theory and some trial and error, I've found my best hijab colors are olive green, chocolate brown, wine red, and warm berry tones. I hope these guides make it easier for you to narrow down your best colors! They're also available on my Pinterest @lizzyhelenabrown under my style board section titled Hijab Color Theory.
2. Stock up on pins & magnets
Pick up a container of pins from your local fabric store and a set of hijab magnets.
3. Figure out what style flatters your face shape
I've experimented with lots of styles and know exactly how to fold the material to suit my face shape. One thing I love about wearing hijab is how you can customize the size of your forehead.
4. Make schedule-informed material choices
You need to think of the activities you'll be engaging in throughout the day. You also need to consider the weather conditions. If it's windy outside, it's best to opt for heavier fabrics that won't try to fly away every time a small breeze hits you. You may need to add some extra pins if you're running hours of errands to ensure everything stays in place. This tip is the #1 most important to me--you want your clothing to work FOR you, not against you.
5. Don't Over-Purchase Hijabs
Quality > quantity. Don't go crazy with the hijab shopping as soon as you become a hijabi--you won't have a deep enough understanding of what you want and need, and may regret purchasing hijabs you rarely end up wearing.
6. Don't Buy to Modify
As you move forward, don't buy tons of clothing you'll need to add layers under or over. Buy tops with high necks, opaque material, and long sleeves. I have pieces in my wardrobe before I became a hijabi that I make adjustments for, but other than that, nothing that requires a layer makes its way into my closet. Have high standards for what you purchase! Don't go on a modest SHEIN shopping spree either--in a year or two, you'll wish you'd spend the money elsewhere. Allow yourself to slowly collect quality pieces.
7. Set Your Intention
Wearing a headscarf shouldn't be something stressful or intimidating. It's just a piece of fabric, and everyone everywhere for all time have covered themselves with pieces of fabric. If you feel chronic anxiety or guilt about being or not being a hijabi, take space to resolve those feelings. Your mental health is critical, and if you decide to wear hijab, it should be a decision you feel good about.
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